Home Sex & Women How Your Relationships Can Affect Your Testosterone (and Vice Versa)

How Your Relationships Can Affect Your Testosterone (and Vice Versa)

Relationships are always an interesting subject of study. Many people wonder what the secret is to a good relationship, factoring in nature vs nurture; many suggest there might even be a biological factor to it all. Well, there just might be, as it turns out. By this, I’m referring to testosterone.

Relationships Can Affect Your Testosterone

That’s right, it’s believed that testosterone might just hold the key to figuring out what makes a stable relationship. How so? Well I’ll give you the rundown on some of the key points scientists have been discovering over time.


What is Testosterone?

Androsterone hormone molecule
Androsterone, molecular model. Steroid hormone produced in the liver from the metabolism of testosterone.

You’ve no doubt heard of testosterone. While both men and women have it, it’s often referred to as the “male sex hormone” for its abundance in men, and since it’s what makes men, well, men. It affects many aspects of their lives, from the physical to the emotional. It’s what gives men facial hair and a deeper voice. It helps men build muscle, regulate body fat, develop strong bones, gives them more energy, and even boosts their mood.

While it’s always been theorized that testosterone might have an effect on how men navigate their relationships (or vice versa), we’ve only recently begun uncovering the link between how much testosterone one has and how they treat their significant other.


Your Relationships and Testosterone

Relationships and Testosterone

If you know anything about testosterone, you may have heard men talking about how it’s important to always have high levels to be the best you can be. While this may be true in some aspects, like fitness, relationships seem to be a whole other ballpark.

While a new relationship tends to give a man a good boost of testosterone, those in long-term relationships tend to have lower levels. The longer the relationship, in fact, the bigger the impact on your levels.

There’s also the subject of happiness within a relationship. You’ll be told all the time that testosterone is essential for a good mood, but it’s actually men with a lower testosterone who are considered “more nurturing”, a trait that offers a loving, supportive relationship. It’s a trait that is seen very often in older men, who are naturally low on testosterone due to their age. In fact, research published in 2017 believes that a higher quality of relationship would greatly lower one’s testosterone. A man who was in a completely happy relationship was far more likely to have a lowered level of testosterone.

However, not every aspect of a relationship is improved by low testosterone. In fact, it’s believed that a higher amount of testosterone can affect how affectionate you are. In a study done in 2022 with animal subjects, those who were given shots of testosterone were more prone to nonsexual and prosocial behavior, doing things such as cuddling with their partners. It’s believed that this is caused by testosterone influencing the activity of oxytocin, also known as the “bonding hormone”.

We also should address an elephant in the room that some of you may know about. While low testosterone may seem like it’s the key to a smoother relationship, there are some difficulties. For example, erectile dysfunction is a common side effect of lower testosterone, as well as a dead sex drive altogether. While this can be helped with medicines and other activities that boost testosterone like nofap and cardio, and supplements that help with erectile dysfunction like vitamin D; it’s still not something a lot of men really want to admit. However, it’s said that over 50% of men have reported some form of erectile dysfunction, so it’s absolutely not a rarity, nor is it something to be ashamed of.


Is It Just Men?

Testosterone role in relationships

Men aren’t the only ones with testosterone. Women have it, too, albeit in a small amount. So, this must mean that it affects them, too, right? Well… not really. As far as scientists can tell, it’s just men who have their relationships affected by testosterone.

This is most likely due to the fact that women have a minute amount of testosterone when compared to men. However, there are two things to consider: women aren’t studied as much as men are when it comes to fluctuating testosterone levels, and there is a good chance that women’s relationships with men can change depending on their levels of estrogen, which is the “female sex hormone”.


Final Thoughts

Now that we know that testosterone is in some way linked, we have to ask ourselves: what comes first? Chicken or the egg? Does testosterone affect your relationships, or do relationships affect your testosterone? Or is it some balance that the two strike where they affect each other equally?

Whichever it is, there’s still much to be learned when it comes to having a happy relationship and hormonal balance. Perhaps this information can be used to make relationships better in the future. Or maybe it just explains a few things about prior and current relationships.